E

""I've reduced your name to its most insignificant and unnecessary letter.""

- Matthew Po to e e is a human male with a strong affinity for boba, much like Idiot.

e is studying to become a nurse, and often speaks of his nursing experiences. Occasionally, he has requested the assistance of his peers in completing assignments that require another person to play the role of a patient. This also bounds him to the Hippocratic, Hypocritical, and Hippopotamus Oaths.

Early Life
"'Soup.'""e's first word, immediately after his birth"e was born on December 26, 1999 and given the name Jaeson. e emerged from the womb already with knowledge of the word "soup" and its meaning. This is because e believes that everything is soup.

Idiot
e first became acquainted with Idiot some time after the two began living on Hume West First Floor Far Side. As the story goes, e was playing a game of President with other Far Side residents when Idiot had walked through the common room with two other goons (Shoe and Collin). e had called Idiot out for not joining their game, asking "Come on! Are you not going to be social?" After such public humiliation, Idiot and company were shamed into joining the card game. Afterward, e and Idiot soon became best friends. They were known to spend a great deal of time with one another, and the whereabouts of one was usually known to the other. Activities that the two could often be found doing with one another include eating, napping, and playing mobile games. Most notably, the two would procure boba quite frequently. This was a result of their quest to find the best boba place in Gainesville. These trips occurred several times a week, with the most common destination being Kung Fu Tea. e and Idiot now live together in Jaeson and Alan's Apartment.

Matthew
e first met Matthew in their CHM2047 class. Without Matthew's help, e would not have survived the course and would have cursed Valeria for all eternity. Through their time together as residents in Hume Hall and through their mutual Valeria-induced suffering, they became close acquaintances. Since Matthew also spent much of his time torturing Idiot, e's close association to Idiot increased his exposure to Matthew throughout their freshman year. Matthew also created a running tally of e and Idiot's weekly boba trips under a chart titled "Jaeson and Alan's Boba Trips." This chart was written in purple marker on the left-side air conditioning unit of the Far Side Common Room. The record was 5.

Matthew occasionally transfers Idiot-focused insults and punishments to e when Idiot is not present. This includes calling e a "fool" and an "idiot," not to be confused with Idiot. e has also been shoved into doors, sprayed, punched, and kicked. It is worth noting that these behaviors can occur, even when Idiot is present, if Matthew determines e deserving of them.

Knowing that Matthew is down for anything, e often invites Matthew to random, impromptu outings. These usually involve trips to visit either the wife, the mistress, or the girlfriend.

When playing Smash Ultimate, Matthew mislabels the move names of e's main, Terry. Power Wave has been dubbed "Taro Blade," Crack Shoot has been dubbed "Rat Soup," and Buster Wolf has been reduced to the voice-line "Are you okay?" When performed in the air, Crack Shoot is referred to as "K-Pop!"

Nobody
e and Nobody lived in the same hallway on Hume West First Floor Far Side.

Nobody calls e "jÅËson," and e usually responds by calling Nobody "Brædôn." Verbally, these are pronounced as "Jaeson" and "Bradon," but with strong emphasis on the first syllable and an air of jest.